when something happens that i don't want to happen, after I cry I get mean. I don't mean too but.. it's just me.. and I don't want to do anything for awhile.. but what people at my house is yet to understand is that I don't want anybody to bother me for awhile thats why i'm quiet because i don't want to get mean and say something i'll regret.. I've been pretty good today tho.. not as mean as usually guess i'm learning to controll that.. I have to realize that the world isin't here to make me feel worse after somethings happen.. most people want to make me feel better.. but i like to make myself feel better..
The puppys gone it's over.. not my fault.. even tho i'm really angry that god didn't let it live.. angry at the world.. why does this stuff happen? I can't understand what that puppys purpus was.. was it to make me feel like shit?? or maybe make me stronger for the next worse thing that is going to happen?? god only knows..
I'm soo depressed right now all 5 puppys are dead.. i miss the lil fellow snuggleing up in my arm.. I miss feeding him.. I can't help but get all teary eyes.. n to make things worse people are trying to messs with me.. i be quiet for a reasion when i'm depressed.. it's because I get mad easily n if u say the lilist thing to me i explode.. only when something i didin't want to happen happen.. my mom wont shut up about the puppy no matter how many times i ask her too.. I really just wonna cry.. and smack myself for letting it die.. kill me plzz.. that was my baby n i juss let it die..
plzz rest in peace baby girl and baby boi.. I loved and still love you..
baby boys doing great,, i slept half awake because every time i would move my hand out of his box.. he wiykd cry n let me kno he was lonely or scared.. he has to go to the vet today to find out if he can get his tail and dewclaws done.. going to ask him if his mouth is small because of beung ore-mature.. or.. what.. i'm going to take a pic of his 1st vet visit if i can... he;s being a lil sleepy head right now....
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I can't help but get all teary eyes.. n to make things worse people are trying to messs with me.. i be quiet for a reasion when i'm depressed.. it's because I get mad easily n if u say the lilist thing to me i explode.. only when something i didin't want to happen happen.. my mom wont shut up about the puppy no matter how many times i ask her too.. 
